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Wedding
A Bengali wedding is as beautiful as it is meaningful. There are a series of rituals and traditions followed from dawn till the end of the wedding, making it an elaborate day-long affair. The day begins at the bride and groom’s homes with the Dodhi Mangal or daybreak meal ceremony. In this ritual, the couple eats a breakfast of khoi, soaked flattened rice with dodhi or sweet yoghurt. This is the only proper meal they will have until they are married and is meant to give them luck, strength, and nourishment for the day. The bride is also given the traditional Sankha and Pola bangles by seven married women in her family. The Sankha bangles, typically made of conch shells, are white in colour, while the Pola bangles are made of red or coral-coloured lac. It is a big moment for the bride when she’s given these bangles as they symbolise a married woman and are believed to give her good fortune and happiness. Some communities also perform the Nandi Mukh pooja on the wedding morning. In this ritual, a priest prays to seven generations of their ancestors to ask for their blessings before the wedding. After this tradition, the bride's mother and her relatives go to the River Ganga to pray to the river goddess so she may bless the couple. If they cannot travel to the Ganga, they go to the nearby lake or river instead. The bride’s mother carries a Kolshi, or brass pot, and fills it up with the holy water that can be used in the wedding rituals. The bride and groom then get dressed in their wedding attire and head to the wedding venue. Traditionally, the bride’s family arrives first and prepares for the Bor Boron ceremony, while the groom and his family arrive later in a fun procession. In Bor Boron, the bride’s mother, along with her relatives, receives the groom with a holy lamp, sweets, and water. The groom’s wedding party is escorted with much fanfare to the mandap or wedding stage. The bride’s entry is no less eventful. She makes her grand entrance being carried on a wooden stool, pidi, by her four brothers. This rather sweet ritual is called the Subho Drishti, where she holds betel leaves in front of her face and slowly removes them to meet her groom’s eyes while conch shells blow in the background. Then comes the fun tradition of Mala Bodol, where the couple have to put flower garlands on each other. To have a bit of fun and make it a little harder for the groom, the bride’s brothers often hoist her up on their shoulders. Other wedding rituals include Samprodaan, where the elders in the bride’s family give her away. This is also known as Kanyadaan in other parts of the country. This is followed by a Yagna, where a priest recites Vedic mantras in front of a holy fire. In the Saptapadi ceremony or Saptapadi of Saat Paak, the bride’s saree pallu is tied to the groom’s uttariya or stole, and they must take seven rounds around the fire. Each circle represents a wedding vow as well as a promise to stay together for seven lifetimes. The bride’s brother then gives the couple puffed rice to offer, which they can offer to the first in the Kusumdinge ritual. The wedding concludes with the Sindoor Daan. The groom then applies sindoor (vermillion) on the bride’s forehead using a mirror or ring, after which the bride's face is covered by a new saree offered by the groom’s family. After this, the bride bids farewell to her family in an emotional Biday ceremony and leaves the wedding venue while throwing back rice behind her. The groom must jump through one more hoop, though. In the Bashor Ghor custom, the couple must have dinner with their family and close friends. The fun bit? The bride’s sisters will not let their new brother-in-law enter the dining room until he pays them money.
Cultural Significance
Bengali weddings are rooted in Hindu Vedic traditions, which place great emphasis on religion, family, and commitment. One of the central beliefs in Hinduism is the concept of dharma, or duty, which includes the duty to marry and start a family. So, marriage is an important rite of passage for an individual as it marks their transition from youth to adulthood. Marriage is also believed to be a sacred relationship between two people where they encourage each other’s spiritual growth. Lastly, it is seen as the coming together of two families, which creates a sense of belonging in the larger community.
Each ceremony in the Bengali wedding has a deep meaning. Many of the rituals are based around a sacred fire. The fire symbolises the god Agni, an important deity in Hinduism who stands for purity and truth. He knows the thoughts of all individuals and is witness to their most important promises. Agni is also supposed to be the messenger to the gods, so the priest places offerings in the fire to send them to the deities. The couple makes these offerings to the gods so that they may bless them with a long and happy marriage.
The family also plays a central role in Bengali wedding rituals. The couple’s parents and relatives participate in many rituals, blessing the newlyweds at every step. This makes the traditions more involved and emotional as the bride and groom are supported by their loved ones as they start this new chapter in their lives.
Many of the items used in the marriage also hold much spiritual significance. The flower garlands used in the Mala Bodol are a symbol of the couple’s love and respect for each other. The sindoor and Sankha Pola bangles represent the bride’s status as a married woman. They are also worn for good fortune.
Fashioning Tradition
The Bengali bride is a picture of ultimate grace and beauty on her wedding day. She has one of the most classic and iconic bridal looks in the different states which makes her easily recognisable. Traditionally, she wears a red Banarasi silk saree or Tant saree with intricate gold or silver zari work. Red is considered especially lucky as it is the colour of Goddess Durga, an important figure for Bengalis who stands for strength and power. It is also the colour of love, energy, and passion. Although modern brides can play around with shades of maroon, magenta, or pink as well.
What truly sets apart the Bengali bride is her traditional jewellery and accessories. The most distinct ornament is the Mukut, a pure white crown made of white cork (sholapith in Bengali) carved with traditional designs. For a softer look, she can wear a gold tiara called the Shonar Mukut. This unique headpiece, a big red bindi, and the delicate red and white dotted patterns on her forehead and over her eyebrows are the most distinguishable features of the Bengali bride.
The traditional attire for the groom is a Panjabi, a kurta made from tussar silk, cotton-silk or muga silk with heavy kantha embroidery, worn over pajamas or a dhoti. Garad silk kurtas in shades of beige, cream and honey are the classic choices. The groom also wears a white Topor as well as gold chains and rings.
For the main wedding ritual, he wears a patta bastra, a silk kurta, dhoti, and a uttariya or stole over his shoulders. Sherwanis are almost never worn at Bengali weddings. He also wears a topor, a conical crown similar to the bride’s Mukut. According to a legend, Lord Shiva's headgear asked the architect of the gods, Vishvakarma, to create a headgear for his wedding. Not used to working with sholapith, Visvakarma failed to make a satisfactory crown, so the god asked a young craftsman, Malakar, to make the gear using shola. Since then, the traditional makers of the Topor are called the Malakars, who craft these crowns with a specialised knife called Kath.
Jewellery & Accessories
A Bengali bride is adorned in beautiful jewellery from head to toe—it is her big day, after all! She wears a Tikli on her forehead, a delicate Bengali style of matha patti with a dangling pendant that rests just above her bindi. Her hair is pulled in a bun and decorated with fresh flowers and a gold bun pin encrusted with precious gemstones.
She wears Kaan Balas on her ears, beautiful statement earrings that are a mix between the jhumka and the chaandbali. These are paired with a small nose pin, Nakchabhi, or a round hoop nose ring, Nath, which has a thin gold chain that connects to her ears. On her arms, she wears a gold Ananta armband, which often has motifs of flowers, animals, or goddesses. Similar to South Indian brides, some Bengali brides also wear a Kamar bandh, a belt made of gold chains.
A bridal must are the red and white Sankha Pola bangles, which look beautiful with the alta design on her palms and fingers. On her hands, she wears the Ratanchoor, a Bengali haath phool made of a central gold disc connected to rings on each finger with delicate gold chains.
Image Credits
Memories Designer | Birdlens Creation | Weddingplz | Wedding Sutra | GetEthnic | Shutterstock | Wedding Bazaar | Wedding Wire | Times of India