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Nishchayathram

The engagement ceremony is known as Nishchayathram in Tamil Nadu weddings. It represents the formal agreement between the bride and groom to marry with the approval and blessings of their families. This event also marks the start of the main wedding preparations. Leading up to the Nishchayathram, there are a number of pre-wedding customs that take place. One such tradition is Pallikal Thellichal, where the bride-to-be and seven married women from her family create rangoli patterns called Kolam, using rice flour and coloured powders on the entrance of their home and on earthen pots filled with navadhaanyam. Navadhaanyam is a blend of nine varieties of grains along with some curd. The pots and Kolam designs are believed to bring fortune and are placed in a special area in the house. Another important pre-wedding custom practised in Tamil Hindu weddings is the Vrutham ceremony. During the ritual, a yellow thread soaked in turmeric is tied around the wrists of both the bride and groom. This act symbolises their transition from life to married life, signifying their devotion to each other and their newfound roles as husband and wife. The yellow thread is believed to protect against evil energies and is a sacred part of the wedding ceremony. Another significant tradition, known as Naandi Shrardham or Naandi Shradh, is observed to seek blessings from ancestors for a prosperous marriage. This ritual takes place at the bride's home, where both families are present. Upon the arrival of the groom’s family, the groom is welcomed warmly, and sandalwood and vermilion paste are applied to his forehead. The families then perform a prayer ceremony to honour their ancestors. Following this ceremony, ten Brahmin priests are invited for a Tamil vegetarian feast hosted by the bride's mother. After lunch, the priests are gifted with veshti and angavastram garments and other treats. During the Nishchayathram, the two families formally agree to the wedding and mark the beginning of the wedding arrangements. During this ceremony, a priest reads aloud the Lagna Patrika, an agreement letter detailing wedding specifics. The wedding date is often chosen based on horoscope alignments, ensuring blessings from above for their union. This reading serves as a declaration of marriage between the bride and groom. The Lagna Patrika includes signatures from both families to symbolise official consent and commitment to marriage. The couple exchanges rings, and gifts are exchanged between the families. Typically, the future mother-in-law presents Kanchivaram sarees to the bride, while the groom receives Tamil attire for his wedding attire. After the formalities are over, the families chat about the wedding plans and enjoy a lavish Tamil lunch.

Cultural Significance

The Nishchayathram ceremony carries much cultural and emotional weight in Tamil weddings. It helps strengthen the bonds between both families. Engagement rituals go beyond formalities; they hold deep meaning in establishing a special connection between the partners. Through ring exchanges and vows, the couple pledges to stand by each other through life’s joys and challenges.

The Nishchayathram Pooja commences with the Ganapathi Pooja and Punyahavachanam, followed by the bride and groom's presentation of outfits for their engagement preparations. Afterwards, the couple seeks blessings from all the elders in their families for an enduring marriage. This ritual focuses on the couple and emphasises the merging of two families.

It nurtures a feeling of unity and mutual regard as relatives gather to rejoice and offer their wishes to the couple. The exchanging of gifts signifies their approval and happiness for the union. The blessings from elders are believed to be essential for the prosperity and joy in the couple's life together.

The cultural components incorporated in Tamilian ceremonies, like the turmeric-dipped thread during the Vrutham ceremony and earthen pots filled with navadhaanyam in Pallikal Thellichal, hold deep meaning. These elements represent purity, fertility, affluence and safeguarding against evil forces, ensuring a harmonious journey ahead for the couple. The involvement of Brahmin priests and the performance of rituals to honour ancestors underscore Tamil culture's emphasis on ancestral blessings. These traditions serve as a tribute to customs and reverence for cultural heritage at Tamil weddings.

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Fashioning Tradition

At the Nishchayathram ceremony, the bride and groom, with their families, wear traditional outfits. The bride looks stunning in a Kanchipuram silk saree, symbolising Tamilian beauty and grace. These sarees, also called Kanjeevaram sarees, are famous for their silk material and intricate zari work. Originating from the temple city of Kanchipuram, these exquisite sarees have a history spanning over four centuries. They are crafted from ultra-luxurious mulberry silk thread and adorned with zari sourced from South India.

Kanchipuram sarees are recognised for their contrasting borders and classic patterns, such as temple borders, checks, stripes, and floral motifs. The designs often draw inspiration from South Temple artwork and scriptures, as well as natural elements like leaves, birds, and animals. Some sarees feature woven mundhi depicting art by Raja Ravi Varma or scenes from the Mahabharata and Ramayana epics.

The bride often chooses to wear her saree in the Madisar-style drape, especially if she is a Brahmin bride. This style involves draping neat pleats over one shoulder and securing them with a kamarbandh or Ottiyanam at her waist, highlighting her curves. Another popular way to drape a saree is the saree-lehenga style, which is usually done with sarees or pattu sarees to create the appearance of a lehenga while still being worn as a saree. This style is known for its youthful vibes and is often preferred for pre-wedding events.

As for the groom, he typically opts for traditional Tamil attire, which includes wearing a veshti (dhoti) paired with an angavastram (a shawl-like cloth). For a pre-wedding ceremony, he may also choose to wear a silk shirt or kurta with dhoti pants or trousers. 

Jewellery & Accessories

The jewellery worn by the bride during the Nishchayathram ceremony is less elaborate than her wedding look but still consists of several beautiful pieces of temple jewellery. Decorated with depictions of deities and auspicious symbols, temple jewellery is the epitome of Tamil craftsmanship. 

The traditional jewellery worn by a Tamil Brahmin bride is a reflection of her heritage, which is showcased through her assortment of necklaces, waistbands, and hair accessories. One distinctive ornament is the Netri Pattai, a band of beads worn across the forehead to accentuate her eyes. This is paired with the Jadanagam, a gorgeous hair accessory that goes on the bride's braid, crafted from gold and embellished with pearls and gemstones.

The Kasu Malai is a long necklace made of coins bearing sacred motifs, often symbolising Goddess Lakshmi. It can be worn with the Kempu Attigai, a choker-style necklace which consists of a gold chain with an opulent ruby-encrusted pendant.

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