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Kasamdry
Jammu and Kashmir, often referred to as paradise on earth, is home to a vibrant cultural heritage that has been preserved for centuries. One of the pivotal ceremonies in a Kashmiri wedding is the Kasamdry, or engagement ceremony, which marks the beginning of the matrimonial journey. The process begins with the exchange of gifts, which typically include jewellery, clothes, sweets, and dry fruits. Close relatives and friends of both families are invited to the event, ensuring that the union is witnessed and blessed by the extended family network. It begins with the presentation of the Nishan, where the bride’s family formally accepts the groom by gifting him a Pheran (traditional gown), turban, and sweets as a gesture of welcome. In many Kashmiri Muslim families, an engagement ring exchange follows, symbolising commitment, while in some Hindu communities, the focus remains on gifting and rituals without the ring exchange. Central to the ceremony is Mouj Kasam – a sacred verbal vow exchanged between the families, symbolising a promise of marriage. Throughout the event, guests are served traditional Kashmiri Kahwa tea and snacks like Shirmal and dry fruits, showcasing Kashmiri hospitality. Often, the engagement is formalised through a written agreement – Nikahnama for Muslims or Lagna Patrika for Hindus – legally binding both families to the impending marriage.
Cultural Significance
The engagement ceremony is often seen as an occasion that brings both families together to begin preparing for the main Jammu & Kashmir wedding event.
Furthermore, the Kasamdry is deeply rooted in Kashmir’s values of family honour, respect, and integrity. The verbal vows exchanged during Mouj Kasam reflect the trust both families place in each other.
Fashioning Tradition
Kashmiri brides look resplendent on their engagement day, often dressed in a traditional Pheran or a more contemporary Salwar Kameez paired with intricate embroidery, typically crafted in silk or brocade. The colours chosen for the bride’s outfit are often vibrant, with red, maroon, gold, and deep shades of green being popular.
The bride’s Pheran is usually heavily embellished with traditional Kashmiri embroidery, known as Tilla work. This type of embroidery, made using fine silver or gold threads, adds a royal touch to the bride’s look. Brides may also choose to wear Pashmina shawls, a Kashmiri symbol of opulence and warmth, to complement their attire.
For the groom, the Pheran is also a popular choice, but it is styled differently from the bride’s. The groom’s Pheran is often simpler in design but made from luxurious fabrics like silk or velvet. In some cases, the groom might opt for a traditional Kashmiri Achkan, a long coat paired with Churidar trousers.
In Muslim families, grooms often wear a Karakuli cap – a traditional headgear worn by Kashmiri men – as part of their attire.
Jewellery & Accessories
One of the most significant pieces of jewellery worn by Kashmiri brides is the Dejhoor, a striking earring suspended from the upper part of the ear. It is usually made of gold, and in some families, it is a treasured heirloom passed down through generations. Along with the Dejhoor, brides also wear a variety of other jewellery pieces, such as necklaces, bangles, and anklets, which are gifted by both families during the Kasamdry ceremony.
Image Credits
Tour My India | Wedding Sutra | Milan Magic | Wedding Wire | Pinterest | Instagram | Mandap | Alamy | Ptaufiq Photography | Quora | India Times