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In ancient Haryana, the Sagai or engagement ceremony was an agreement or promise given by elders in the family to marry their children. Back in the days, when the bride and groom-to-be had no say in their engagement, it was purely a selection done based on the health, wealth, reputation, and gotra of the families. A bride or groom was always selected outside of one’s gotra or clan but strictly within the community. The Sagai ceremony, first in pre-wedding functions, marked the start of a month-long celebration for family, friends, and the entire village. Today, though one can choose a life partner, the essence of Vedic customs remains. The Sagai ceremony is usually held in the bride's house. It is the first pre-wedding function. It is a small and intimate ceremony usually involving family members. For this ceremony, the groom's family goes to the bride’s home to ask for her hand in marriage. The Sagai starts with the Vedic custom of applying tilak, which is a mark made on the forehead using a paste of Kumkum (vermillion), turmeric, homemade ghee, and Vibhuti (sacred ash). The bride's father or elder male relative applies a tilak on the groom's forehead on the spot between the eyebrows, known as ajna chakra or third eye, to shield the groom from the evil eye. Next, the bride's family presents the groom with gifts, like clothes, sweets, fruits, and jewellery. Also, the groom's family brings Shagun (gifts) for the bride and her family. Some families call a priest to perform a Ganesh puja on Sagai day. After the Tilak ceremony, the priest chants mantras to invoke blessings from Lord Ganesha to ensure all wedding ceremonies proceed without hindrance Next comes the exchange of rings. In Vedic times, this ritual was not common practice. It has only been integrated into the Sagai ceremony over the last few centuries. Here, the bride and groom exchange engagement rings, symbolising their commitment to one another in the presence of close family members. After the ring exchange, the couple seeks good wishes from the elders of both families. While most couples exchange rings at the Sagai, some may opt for a separate Anguthi Pehnana ceremony. Toward the end of the Sagai ceremony, the priest or family member announces the wedding date. What follows is a grand feast for everyone. Music and dance may also be a part of the celebrations. The Sagai function provides an opportunity for both families to mingle and get to know each other better. It is the perfect start to the pre-wedding events.
A Sagai ceremony in Haryana's wedding holds cultural importance as it marks the start of a long line of Vedic ceremonies. It reinforces age-old traditions like applying tilak or performing a Ganesh Puja, which is deeply rooted in Hindu customs. Every ritual is passed down generations and can be back-traced to its roots.
These age-old preserved customs help to maintain the true identity of the community. Folk songs, folk dances, specific prayers, traditional attire, and local food contribute to Haryana’s rich culture.
The Sagai also brings two families together for approval, blessings, interactions, and celebrations. It marks the finalisation of the marriage.
During the Sagai ceremony, the bride and groom wear traditional clothes to honour their cultural heritage. Every fabric, style, and accessory tells a unique story of the community and its customs. The bride wears a lehenga-choli, consisting of a colourful and embroidered lehenga (long skirt), a choli (waist-length or shorter fitted blouse), and a dupatta (veil). Sometimes, a modern bride may wear a salwar kameez with a dupatta. Both outfits are adorned with embellishments but are less intricate, heavy, and expensive than the wedding outfit. The preferred colours are red and its hues.
At the Sagai ceremony, the groom dresses in traditional Indian attire. He typically wears a simple silk or cotton kurta pyjama. However, several modern grooms wear a Sherwani with churidar that is usually richer embroidered than the kurta pyjama. Sometimes, it is accessorised with a dupatta or stole to complement the bride's outfit. The footwear is always a pair of traditional juttis or mojaris (embroidered shoes) matching the colour and style of the attire.
In Haryana, jewellery is an essential part of the Sagai attire. The bride and groom wear jewellery pieces in gold that are aesthetic and reflect tradition, cultural heritage, and social status. Their jewellery also holds symbolic meaning. The forehead Maangtikka, mentioned in ancient texts, symbolises the coming together of two individuals in a marriage union. Gold symbolises wealth, prosperity, and purity. However, some new-age brides might opt for diamond jewellery or even wear an heirloom piece, depending on the attire and personal preference. Likewise, the groom-to-be wears a few pieces of jewellery at the Sagai ceremony, which typically reflects his readiness to take on the responsibilities of married life.
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